AH MAN
My life is quite uh, how do you say... SHIT at the moment. I don't mean to be a total complaining downer of a human being but man!
So it's been the lead up to the big Christmas day. I'm finding it hard to even enjoy it because of the amount of stress and how my family is just at each others throats constantly... I haven't been well for quite some time, just not 100% you know? So it's just been one big mess of crap parties, returning home to an unhappy or fighting family. I wish Christmas was like it was for little kids like it is for adults... No stresssss. I'm so over my stressed out and thinned out mother lately, every little thing and she is off. I love her to bits but there's only so much I can cope with! We had heaps of people over for a dinner party the other night and she just can't seem to cope with the stress! And i'm just like "why don't we just go out for dinner for christs sake!" I get a little intolerable at times, i'll give you that.
Tonight went to a christmas party but I just felt really sick so I went home. That is so rare for me. Usually I just drink up and sit it out, but I was so over it tonight. So here I am, sitting at home at 11.00 on a Saturday night.
AH and of course just to add to the crap there is boy troubles but I'm not even going to bore you with the pointless and stupid details that are consuming my MINDDD.. I'm sooooo over everything, I CANNOT wait for a fresh start in the new year, I think I need to make many new years resolutions.
Have you ever had like a sort of.. how you say.. "out of body experience" Where you sort of feel like you're watching yourself on a movie? It's so fucking wierd, blah, I don't know. But i've felt like that alot lately. I just need a whole day to sit and think, and do nothing, just think. I need to sort everything out in my headddddddddddd..
To all the people who read this, if anyone at all, I'm sorry for the stupidness and patheticness of this! I probably should have written it in my diary instead.. Ah the rants of a teenage girl. If I ever look back on these i'll probably be in hysterical laughter for days.
By the way, what's with the weather, it's RAINING AND COLD in SUMMER? Talk about Melbourne weather.
So long...
